We live in a fallen, cursed world. It is not the way it is supposed to be. It is not how God designed it to be. But sin has entered the world, so now we are all living in a fallen state where suffering, pain and death reign. The good news however is that this is temporary. One day soon all this will come to an end.
Those who have come to a saving relationship with Christ through faith and repentance know that this world is but a shadow of the world we will be living in forever. And the promises we have about this are just staggering. As we read in Revelation 21:1-4:
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
That is such wonderful news. And all of us should be able to relate to our current state of suffering and sickness. The background to this article comes from a documentary series that I have just recently watched. It is an 8-part, 16-hour series called Country Music by Ken Burns. I have penned two pieces on it so far:
I have already written about how as I was watching the final segment – Episode 8 of the series – there were a number of times when I was driven to tears. One part of it that especially got to me had to do with a song popularised by country singer Kathy Mattea. It has to do with the dementia that her husband’s grandmother went through.
The transcript of that portion of the episode goes like this:
Narrator: In 1988, a songwriter from Minnesota named Jon Vezner took the stage at the Bluebird. He and his friend Don Henry had written a song inspired by an event in Vezner’s life, and he decided to sing it that night in front of an audience. Kathy Mattea was now married to Vezner, and she knew the story behind the song. It describes his grandparents’ lifelong love, from their courtship to their marriage to their final moment together. His grandmother had been hospitalized, suffering from dementia, unable to recognize visitors and not talking with anyone. Then Jon wheeled his grandfather into her room.
Mattea: And she just kept looking at him and looking at him. And she said, “Where’ve you been?” and that was the last thing she said. She died days after that. And he writes this story into a song.
Narrator: Recording labels and artists throughout Nashville told Vezner what a powerful song it was, but everyone had turned it down.
Mattea: That night at the bluebird when he played it, I got to see, collectively, the universal poignancy of that song. You could hear audible sobs all over the room. People were, like, dumbstruck. They didn’t even clap at the end of it. You know, the poignancy of being able to be brought back by the love you have for someone, it reaches deep in us. And I just became obsessed with recording it because I felt that it needed to be heard.
Reynolds: And she knew how she wanted to record it. We weren’t thinking about it as a single, and of all things, radio began to call for that as a single, And, uh-and it was a strong enough call that the record label said, “Let’s try it.” And, uh, then it won song of the year, it got a Grammy, it got a Nashville Songwriters Association award. It won all these awards, and people loved it.
It turns out that the song was her biggest hit, winning her the Song of the Year (1990) at the Grammys, CMA’s and ACM’s. The lyrics are these:
The reason it means so much to me, and drives me to tears, is at least twofold. I do know of friends who are now going through this very thing right now. They are daily in my prayers. But even more pertinent is the fact that my wife died almost two years ago now from cancer, which was spreading throughout her body, including tumours in her brain.
Near the end of her life, she started showing signs of how her brain was being ravaged by those tumours. One morning it came to a head. As it turned out, she was due to go back to the hospital later that day. She never did come back home after that. I had kept a diary of those 18 months of her suffering, and this is what I wrote when I first experienced her mind being impacted this way.
Friday June 16, 2023 – I am terrified. Averil was awake somewhat earlier (7am) so I helped her out of bed, etc. But for the first time ever this morning she is showing signs of the brain going – she does have a brain tumour. She was talking some nonsensical stuff – it came on so quickly. I had to feed her the poached egg I made her. It was the first time I had to feed her as well. She seems to be declining quite fast – God help her and me!
And the first thing I see on Facebook this morning is a friend saying his sister who had cancer passed away a few hours earlier. One good thing is my wife is due to be taken to hospital in a few hours to see if surgery for her cancerous knee is the way to go, or if they start the radiation for her legs and brain. So she can perhaps get better care there, and I will just have to visit a lot.
The episode only lasted 20 or 30 minutes, then she got back to her normal self. But for the first minute I was a bit impatient, saying ‘What are you talking about?’ But I quickly realised she was having issues. So I stayed with her. At one point she tried to put in her pocket a small spoon I gave her for her egg. I told her she did not need to do that.
Then she wanted me to look at a label on her jumper then look it up online or something. Then she said Jilly dog was standing by the back door (she was not, but there were black socks on a chair in her line of vision). So she said and did quite strange things for a while. That is my great fear to see her mind go. Physical pain is bad enough. Some folks said some meds can reduce oxygen which can cause blurred talk and thoughts etc – I will have to text the oncologist about this.
So I drove her to the hospital to have folks check on her knee. She finally got herself settled a few hours later. I told a nurse there about her episode this morning. I contacted the oncologist too, and he said getting her on steroids would help with that….
As I say, she never did get back home. She spent the next three weeks in several hospitals. She went to be with the Lord on July 5.
The whole idea of this wonderfully brainy, intelligent and articulate woman slowly losing her mind really freaked me out that morning. Yes, all her physical pain and suffering was bad enough, but to think her mind was now going downhill also so very greatly bothered me.
So a song like this by Mattea sure does get to me big time. I pray so much more now for folks that I know who are going through this – both for the actual sufferer, and for the spouse who has to deal with it. It is such a hard road to be on.
I hate sin and I hate the things it does to us. Jesus hated sin too, and he was driven to tears by what his friend Lazarus had to go through because of the effects of sin. Lazarus died, but then was raised by Jesus (see John 17). Presumably he later died again.
But we know that at the resurrection we will all be restored to a new life with Christ forever. No more sin, suffering, sickness and sorrow. That is our blessed hope in this sin-soaked world. Come quickly Lord Jesus.
Your above post about the mysteries of pain and suffering, and particularly about the last days of your beloved wife Averil, is heart-wrenching.
You’ve been through so much, Bill.
I want so much to say something meaningful and comforting in response, but I’m afraid I’m at a loss for words.
Thank you for being prepared to share online with your followers this distressing chapter in your life.
And well done, Bill, for your firm declarations of faith in both your opening and concluding paragraphs.
God bless you, my friend.
Thanks so much John. Much appreciated.