In the next life will we still grieve over certain things?
While all believers look forward to being with their Lord in heaven forever, many might still have some legitimate questions, such as: What about the lost? What about loved ones and family members who will not be in heaven? Will we forever mourn and grieve over their absence from heaven? Will we forever be sad? And does God also forever mourn for the unsaved?
Let me make a number of points about all this by way of response:
One. These questions are not easily answered, and we cannot be too dogmatic in how we deal with these matters. There is some room to move here.
Two. We have to allow for some mystery in all this. We do not know everything about what life in the next world will be like for the redeemed. So we cannot demand a complete understanding in this life.
Three. Needless to say, theologians over the centuries have sought to deal with such questions. Think for example of someone like Thomas Aquinas (ca. 1225–1274) who discussed this in his Summa Theologica: https://www.newadvent.org/summa/5094.htm
Many others have discussed these matters as well over the years. Spurgeon (1834-1892) gave various sermons on this for example, and more recent treatments by various theologians still grapple with this. A case in point is the very comprehensive and helpful volume by Randy Alcorn, Heaven (Tyndale, 2004).
Four. We do know that there will be no sorrow in heaven. That much is certain. Simply reflect on a text like Revelation 21:1-5:
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”
So that is one sure truth we can stand on as we seek some clarity on these matters. If there will definitely be no more sorrow and tears, then whatever knowledge we have of the lost must therefore be seen in that light.
Five. That leads to my next point: Just what sort of knowledge will we have in the next life? Will it be perfect and total? Will we be omniscient like God, and omnipresent and omnipotent, etc? No, not quite. Being in heaven forever does not mean that we become just like God in every way. We will still be finite and created beings.
But in certain areas we WILL be just like him. Our view of things will reflect and correspond to God’s view of things. We will be like Christ, conformed to his image. So we will think and feel as he does about all things. So we need to look at how God thinks and feels about all this. Consider the issue of sin and our memory of it. We all know of passages that speak about God not remembering our sins:
Psalm 103:12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
Jeremiah 31:34 No longer will each man teach his neighbor or his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ because they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquities and will remember their sins no more.”
Isaiah 43:25 I, yes I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake and remembers your sins no more.
Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.
But we have to inquire as to how a divine being who is omniscient can forget something. It might be best to see these passages as simply being figures of speech in terms of God not holding our sins against us. He chooses to forget our sin. And given that we will in many ways be like God, it may be the case that we will ‘forget’ about them as well – even our own sin.
If you are like me, you often look at your life and all your shortcomings, failures, sins, disobedience and unfaithfulness. The question is, will we have the same sense of remorse and grief over our sins when we dwell in heaven forever?
If God chooses to remember our sins no more, and if we will be like him in various respects in the next life, then perhaps somehow, we will also not remember them and feel bad about them. But here we can only speculate. And bear in mind this: Presumably to forever appreciate and worship God for his grace and forgiveness means somehow recalling what we were saved from.
And even if we do still have recollection of our sin, it will not be to feel terrible about the sin, but to feel forever grateful and ecstatic in our Lord about how he delivered us from our sin. We will see all things as God sees them. Some comments by Randy Alcorn fit in here:
Heaven: A Comprehensive Guide to Everything the Bible Says About Our Eternal Home (Clear Answers to 44 Real Questions About the Afterlife, Angels, Resurrection, and the Kingdom of God)by Alcorn, Randy (Author)
Our minds will be clearer in Heaven, not foggier. Memory is basic to personality. The principle of continuity requires that we will remember our past lives. Heaven cleanses our slate of sin and error, but it doesn’t erase our memory of it. The lessons we learned here about God’s love, grace, and justice surely aren’t lost but will carry over to Heaven….
It seems likely that recalling the reality of our past troubles, sorrows, and sins would set a sharp contrast to the glories of Heaven, as darkness does to light, as Hell does to Heaven. We would lose this contrast if we forgot what sorrow was. If we forgot we were desperate sinners, how could we appreciate the depth and meaning of Christ’s redemptive work for us?
Even though God will wipe away the tears and sorrow attached to this world, he will not erase from our minds human history and Christ’s intervention. Remember that Christ’s resurrection body has nail-scarred hands and feet (John 20:24-29). Seeing those scars in Heaven will always remind us that our sins nailed Jesus to the cross. Heaven’s happiness won’t be dependent on our ignorance of what happened on Earth. Rather, it will be enhanced by our informed appreciation of God’s glorious grace and justice as we grasp what really happened here….
The New Earth will include memorials to the twelve tribes and the apostles (Revelation 21:12-14). This indicates continuity and memory of history. If we’re aware of others’ pasts on the old Earth, surely we’ll be aware of our own.
God’s acts of sovereign faithful grace will never be erased from our minds. Heaven’s happiness will be dependent not on our ignorance but on our perspective. We’ll see and know as never before. (pp. 344-345)
Six. It can also be assumed that a fully wise, just and holy God will not feel forever grieved by the fate of those who rejected him. Just as in this life we know that justice is giving to each person his or her due, so God is just, and he knows full well that he made provision for the lost. Those who reject that provision will end up being where they belong in eternity.
And God’s people will take the same view of things. We will understand all things from his perspective. We will want to defend God and his reputation in all things, and will find no reason to want to defend those who rejected God. As with all issues, we will want to take God’s side.
Yes but…
It is quite likely that many folks reading this might still have many questions, and even objections to what has been said. As I mentioned, these are tough issues and we do not have all the answers. But what I said above is part of how we must think of these things.
And I believe that this idea of the saints in heaven fully sharing in God’s thoughts, values and desires, and fully embracing them, has to be a big part of how we might understand all this. Many other Christian pastors, thinkers and theologians have taken this line as well.
But let me once again run with Alcorn. While in part he covered these issues in his book, he also penned a piece a few years ago about this: “How Will I Be Able to Enjoy Heaven If My Loved Ones Are in Hell?” This is part of how he replied:
In Heaven, we will see with a new and far better perspective. We’ll fully concur with God’s judgment on the wicked. The martyrs in Heaven call on God to judge evil people on Earth (Revelation 6:9-11). When God brings judgment on the wicked city of Babylon, the people in Heaven are told, “Rejoice over her, O heaven! Rejoice, saints and apostles and prophets! God has judged her for the way she treated you” (Revelation 18:20).
We’ll never question God’s justice, wondering how He could send good people to Hell. Rather, we’ll be overwhelmed with His grace, marveling at what He did to send bad people to Heaven. (We will no longer have any illusion that fallen people are good without Christ.)…
We’ll embrace God’s holiness and justice. We’ll praise Him for His goodness and grace. God will be our source of joy. Hell’s small and distant shadow will not interfere with God’s greatness or our joy in Him….
Yet even still, I know that more questions can and will be raised here. But this piece is just a brief introduction to this weighty matter. At the very least, we can count on this biblical truth: “Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2).
