
On Being Liked, Loved and Accepted:
Are you looking for love in the wrong places?
Since I am again back reading in the Gospel of Luke, I want to briefly comment on the part of the Sermon on the Mount. Most believers know it from Matthew 5-7. But of course a much shorter version of it is found in Luke 6:17-49. It is sometimes referred to the Sermon on the Plain, since verse 17 says that Jesus “came down with them and stood on a level place”.
Being so much shorter, there are numerous differences. For example, in Luke 6:20-23 we find just 4 beatitudes, unlike the 9 found in Matthew 5:2-12. Also, Luke offers 4 woes right after the beatitudes (vv. 24-26), but none are found in Matthew 5-7 (although there are 7 much fuller woes found in Matthew 23:1-36).
One other thing to note is how Luke’s 4 beatitudes correlate (contrast) with his 4 woes. They make for matching pairs. Here I want to focus on the final beatitude and the final woe offered by Luke. They are:
“Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.” (Luke 6:22-23)
“Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets.” (Luke 6:26)
My discussion involves this reality: we all want to be liked and thought well of. We all like to receive words of praise and commendation. We all want to have the approval and affirmation of others. In sum, we all want to be loved. That is natural, and there is a place for it.
But Jesus reminds us that not all praise and affirmation is to be sought after, and not all critiques and attacks are to be avoided. In the upside-down kingdom that believers live in, often what the world covets the believer should not. God’s values are often quite the opposite of the world’s values.
So while we all do want to get some approval from others, at times when the world hates us and rejects us, we need to rejoice. And at times when folks speak well of us, we might need to question how we are living as believers. As Paul put it in Galatians 1:10, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Some commentary on these verses is helpful. R. Kent Hughes reminds us to not forget the important phrase found in 6:22: “on account of the Son of Man”. Believers can often be hated and rejected, NOT because they are properly reflecting and aligning with our Lord, but for all sorts of other reasons: they can be arrogant or foolish or obnoxious or insensitive, etc.
So that is our first consideration when we find ourselves being persecuted and rejected: is it because of our own lousy witness, or is it because we are faithfully presenting and representing Christ to others? Hughes says this:
During a stressful time in Charles Spurgeon’s life when he was depressed by criticism, his wife took a sheet of paper, printed the eight Beatitudes on it in large, old English script, and tacked it to the ceiling over his bed. She wanted the reality to saturate his mind morning and evening: everyone who lives righteously will be persecuted.
On the flipside. Jesus tells us, “Woe to you, when all people speak well of you.” This cannot happen to a Christian apart from some sacrifice of principle. Yes, we should be well thought of by “outsiders” (I Timothy 3:7), but that is different from universal popularity. If we are acceptable and popular with people who live according to the spirit of the present evil age, we may in fact belong to that evil age and thus share in its judgment. The desire for popularity can become a self-focused spiritual anesthetic.
A person who is persecuted because of Christ is truly alive. There is an old saying: “Even a dead dog can swim with the tide.” To swim against the tide you must be alive and kicking. Being yes-men and yes-women of ungodly culture means drifting with the dead.
Are we hated for Christ? Have we been excluded for Christ? Do we suffer insult for Christ? Are we rejected because of Christ? Then we are blessed with special benefits of grace from him.
And Philip Graham Ryken makes these helpful comments:
The last woe is for people who tried to be popular. . . . Not that it is wrong for people to speak well of us. In fact, God wants us to have a good reputation with outsiders (e.g., 1 Tim. 3:7). But he does not want us to be people-pleasers. We cannot please everyone, after all, and the real danger comes when all people speak well of us. This is true for us both as individual Christians and as a church. Some churches try to please everyone, but as J. C. Ryle rightly observed, “To be universally popular is a most unsatisfactory symptom, in one of which a minister of Christ should always be afraid. It may well make him doubt whether he is faithfully doing his duty, and honestly declaring all the counsel of God.” If we are living like Jesus, then there are bound to be some people who will not speak well of us, any more than they speak well of Him. We will be hated, and reviled, and all the rest of it. We should not be dismayed by this, but rejoice. to suffer for Jesus’ sake.
By pronouncing these blessings and woes, Jesus was doing something that Puritan preachers used to call “dividing the audience.” In other words, he was putting his listeners into two categories. In the process, he was forcing them to choose which kind of life they wanted to lead. We have to make the same choice. Do I want to have God’s blessing, or do I want to follow the way of the world, with all of the woe it will bring me in the end? Which kind of life am I leading right now?
To sum things up by way of a bit of popular culture, back in 1928 Helen Kane had a hit song, I Wanna Be Loved by You. It was later performed by Marilyn Monroe in the 1959 film, Some Like It Hot. Those wanting to stroll down memory lane can hear the original version here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hclK-UKJNgk
Who doesn’t want to be loved? We were created to give and receive love. But above all we should crave the love of God and his acceptance. It is great if other people love us and the like, but at times our stand for Christ will result in their hate and enmity, and not their love.
The real follower of Christ knows that the love of the world will never be something to seek after, and he will also know that even friends and loved ones might turn on him as well. So we need to be grounded in the love of God through Christ, and not overly worry about the shifting loves of man.
If we seek his approval and acceptance above all else, that should suffice. As Leonard Ravenhill once put it, “If we displease God, does it matter whom we please? If we please Him, does it matter whom we displease?”
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