Social Media, Allies, Battles, and Related Matters

We all need to be cautious in how we use the social media:

Anyone who regularly makes use of the social media knows what an odd thing it can be. It is very helpful in various ways, but it can also become a wild west of fighting, divisions and ongoing conflict. So we each need to decide how much we make use of it, what rules we might have for ourselves and others, and whether the good it can achieve outweighs all the grief, craziness and belligerency that is routinely found there.

And given that so often the two main things we were told not to bring into polite society – religion and politics – are what we find the most spoken about and warred over, things can get pretty intense online. So here are three broad reflections on using the social media – especially if you are a Christian – and how we might best proceed.

Keep your priorities straight

With political, social, cultural, religious and theological issues so often being fought over to the death on the social media, the believer needs to take care that his witness for Christ does not get lost in heated debates, arguments and open warfare. Sure, I post all the time on spiritual, theological, political and ethical issues. But I know that I need to be careful and prayerful here.

Most of these issues are very important indeed and should not be shied away from, but sometimes we can be more concerned to win an argument than win over our opponents. Sometimes our concern for key issues (whether abortion or Israel or conservatism) can result in us becoming far from Christlike as we engage with folks online.

Something I just read in a new book I found to be helpful in this regard. In Daniel Darling’s In Defense of Christian Patriotism he has a chapter on “Why Christians Should Be More Involved in Politics.” He offers a wise and much-needed warning about this:

Without spiritual formation, activism becomes an obsession, a near religion, an object of worship. This is one reason why our politics is often so fractious; it is easy to let our work for God get ahead of our life with God.

 

In this digital age, we can easily become catechized by the steady stream of political content that competes for space in our brains. We let pundits and politicians shape the way we think, speak, and see the world. We maximize small differences and let everything become political, even the areas of our lives that shouldn’t be.

 

I’ve seen too many brothers and sisters who neglected the care of their souls and allowed the tribal demands of politics to reorder their priorities, often resulting in failed marriages, moral compromises, and a worldly way of engaging in politics. At the same time, I’ve seen admirable leaders who have resisted this with the power of the Spirit and are the same people in private as they are in public.

 

Tending to the spiritual disciplines also tempers our political engagement, as we recognize our limits and reset our expectations. It allows us to fear God more than mere mortals and to treat even our ideological foes as humans worthy of respect and dignity. (p. 92)

Choose your friends wisely

A related matter has to do with the company we keep online. On the one hand we want to have some people who differ from us on key issues in the hopes that we can reach them. We do not just want to be in an echo-chamber. But we also want to be wise as to who we allow as friends.

So we need to pray and ask for wisdom here. The truth is, we are under no obligation to accept every friend request, nor to hang on to all friends that we have. Some are simply too toxic, too argumentative, or too detrimental to our spiritual, mental and emotional health!

Recently I was asked by someone this question: “Hey Bill. Just wondering, where’s the line you draw when choosing to delete folk from your Facebook friend list?” This is the way I responded to this person:

My criteria may differ from others, depending in part on what they care greatly about. But some things might include:

-If a person is a repeat offender who only comes to my site to attack me, argue with me, start a fight, etc. Trolls are not my idea of a friend.

-If I politely ask them three times to stop in some discussion or debate but they refuse, and keep going.

-If they are clear cultists or heretics pushing their false doctrines.

-If it is clear they are arrogant and unteachable, and refuse to learn from others.

-If they constantly show ungracious, ugly and un-Christlike behaviour and attitudes.

-If they push things that I will not allow, such as ugly Jew-hatred and antisemitism.

-If they constantly push nutter conspiracy theories – eg., a flat earth, etc.

-If they keep engaging in gung-ho sectarianism which I prefer not to engage in, be it anti-Protestantism, anti-Catholicism, etc.

Stuff like that…

So there will be times when we need to let some folks go. As mentioned, we need not keep everyone as a friend, especially if they are being far too belligerent, too arrogant, or too unteachable. Then the best thing we can often do is cut them loose and keep them in our prayers.

And sometimes, thankfully, an unfriended person will come back, apologise, show a bit of humility, and ask to be reinstated. The truth is, if I see even a little bit of this willingness from them to try again and show the slightest bit of remorse, I am usually happy to give them another go.

Sadly, most folks that I need to apply the ‘three strikes and you’re out’ rule to never do come back wanting to start afresh. But some do, and it is always good if bridges can be rebuilt and we can give relationships another go. So again, we need godly wisdom and discernment here.

Lower your demands and expectations

Closely related to the above two points, I have seen some folks – whether online or elsewhere – become so enthused and obsessed with their particular pet causes, even very good causes, that they will actually turn on others who do not go along with them 110 per cent.

They foolishly think that if an ally does not completely see things their way, they are the enemy. That is a recipe for disaster, and a great way to marginalise yourself from everyone else who is mainly in agreement with you. That sort of attitude will guarantee that you end up becoming a club of one.

When you treat like dirt people who really are onside with you and support the causes you do, then they will not long hang around. Indeed, often these purists will block and unfriend other folks first. They see every slight area of disagreement and difference as wholesale betrayal and treason.

I have seen too many folks like this. And they wonder why no one is fighting alongside of them. They have booted out most folks for not being as “pure” and “dedicated’ as they are! They become bitter, ungracious, and unloving, thinking they are the one true remaining defender of what is right. That is a sure sign of cultist thinking and behaviour.

And when I say we should be willing to ease up a bit on our demands and expectations, I am NOT saying we should compromise on core biblical truths or important political and moral convictions. Some issues must be firmly held to and defended.

But NONE of us have all the truth and all the right perspective on things. We all can be mistaken in some areas, and showing a bit of humility, teachability and a willingness to work with others – even if they are not entirely onside – is the way to proceed. Pronouncing anathemas on everyone who does not fully see eye to eye with us on all things is NOT the way to proceed.

Much more can be said about engaging for truth, for the faith, and for what really matters, be it online or elsewhere. But these three broad points might be worth keeping in mind as we do interact with others and seek to make a difference in our world.

I know I certainly need to keep them in mind.

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