End Times Moonbattery
I have written before about eschatological foolishness which Christians can so easily get themselves into. I have also written before about various false prophets and fruit loops running around at the moment, setting dates and causing mischief. So just last night I was thinking of writing a satirical piece on rapture fever and related issues.
But I see I have been beaten to the punch – and by Christians who are evidently perfectly serious. They are offering to look after your pets after the rapture takes place! I kid you not. Indeed, there are both Christians as well as atheists offering these services. It seems everyone wants to get in on the act – and make a quick buck.
The Christian version of this important service can be found here:
And the pagan version can be found here:
Both are very thoughtfully concerned about the welfare of your pets after you have been taken away – and both are happy to help things out here for a small fee of course. It seems that when it comes to making a quick – and rather dubious – buck, believers and non-believers are quite happy to lock arms.
The Christian site says this: “Dear Fellow Christian: As the Apostle Paul describes in Thessalonians as quoted above, at some point in the future Jesus will come in the air, catch up the Church from the earth, and then return to heaven with the Church. This is known as the Rapture and it will be glorious. But what of our pets? Who will take care of our pets when we’re gone? I’m Sharon Moss, and I’d like to help answer that question.”
Gee that is awfully thoughtful of her. She continues, “Our pets are given to us by God for us to care for. We are stewards of their lives. Should we simply forget them at the Rapture, allow them to starve or worse?” Of course a bit of money must exchange hands here:
“We have settled on charging a one-time 10 dollar registration fee to discourage fake sign-ups, while being only a small amount for serious people. Once you sign up through PayPal for $10, you get into your membership area where you can register all your pets. You will never pay another dime, your information is kept secure (never ever shared with anyone outside our organization), and you have peace of mind.”
The atheist site is a bit more blatant in its money grab. Indeed, these pet-loving pagans are especially adept at making a mint out of this. The very first thing we find on their website are these words: “Notice of Rate Increase: Due to the increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture prophesy we have increased our service rates for all new contracts submitted as of 1/13/11.”
That Christian website should have done the same – they would be rolling in the dough by now. But getting back to those amicable atheists, we read further: “You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.
“We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.”
OK, so what’s the bottom line here? “Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable. For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.”
Wow, these guys are just as thoughtful as the Christians are. Of course they are a bit brighter, sucking out a greater fee. But both will be laughing all the way to the bank. Who was it that said a sucker is born every minute? We would expect such gullible suckers to be found amongst unbelievers.
But when Christian communities provide a ready source of such suckers, then we are in big trouble. Indeed, I read the other day the results of a survey. It asked believers if they thought May 21 2011 was judgment day. While 98 per cent said no, two per cent said yes!
How any believer can fall for this foolishness is beyond me. But the lack of biblical literacy and biblical discernment is running rampant in the churches. We have perhaps the most weak-minded and theologically vacuous generation of believers on record.
When and if things will be turned around are some very good questions indeed. In the meantime, I have already written another piece on the May 21 foolishness. I will not post it until May 22. Not because I am hedging my bets, but to show just how foolish and gullible some Christians can be.
Some of these folks will not be convinced until May 22 rolls around. But even then, incredibly, some will not be convinced. Indeed, the false prophet pushing this date has been date-setting for decades now. But I will speak to this further when my article is posted in a few days time.
In the meantime, some wise words from Will Graham, grandson of Billy Graham, when asked about ‘doomsday’ predictions: “The fact of the matter is… we are all a heartbeat away from eternity. Whether you stand before God on May 21st, or whether you stand before Him 50 years from now, is irrelevant in the scope of eternity. The important thing isn’t when you stand before God; it’s where you stand with God.”
18 Replies to “End Times Moonbattery”
I think it’s time Christians, particularly my fellow Americans (dual-citizenship now me!) reconsider their pre-millenialism. I suggest they start with Kenneth Gentry and David Chilton, both of whose works on Revelation can be sourced at http://www.chalcedon.edu.
While this article is not meant to be an assessment of the merits or otherwise of the rapture theory, or of various millennial views, I do offer an introductory approach to some of these matters here:
Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch
Steve, not all pre-millennialists believe in the rapture.
Yes quite right Jereth
And those that do disagree amongst themselves as to whether it is before, during, or after the seven year tribulation period.
Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch
Somehow I think the last thing anyone will be worrying about when Christ returns is other people’s pets.
Someone once said, “We should live as if Jesus died yesterday, rose today, and is coming back tomorrow.”
It is sad that people get caught up in date setting etc, but perhaps some good can come of people’s heightened awareness of the end if we can direct people’s thoughts to what would happen to them if the world did end, or if they died tomorrow.
Would we have watched that movie, held that grudge, wimped out of telling the gospel to a friend if we knew it was our last chance? Are we snubbing God because we want to have fun now and we intend to repent when we are older and have enjoyed life first?
Too many people regret the last words they say to a loved one? How much more will people regret not coming to God while they had a chance? We never know when our time is up. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
Repent, proclaim and forgive for tomorrow we die.
Interesting poll on that website. Can’t say I can tick either box.
It is so obvious in Scripture that no one, not even the Son, knows the date of the Rapture, so how can any serious “Christian” attempt to predict it? What is the point? To say that you have an inside path to God?
I suppose we have a greater chance in trusting the atheist with our hard earned cash to look after our precious pets after the rapture, rather than the Christians. Because the atheists wont be rapturing at any time or moment, and that’s a guarantee. Sorry Bill, I just thought I could add a little humour ?
These guys offering to look after pets after the rapture have really got something going. Let’s say it happens exactly as many people expect… And then the guys promising to look after pets just laugh (or cry and wail maybe) and don’t look after the pets at all? Who is going to complain to consumer affairs about it?? Man, what a foolproof scam. Since there are so many idiots in the world, perhaps I should set up my own website and go into competition with these guys? :^)
What concerns me is that all this foolishness leads people to dismiss the whole idea of the second coming and the last judgment. This we must continue to declare and not get caught up in secondary debates. See my comments at jonknewton.com and in my book Revelation Reclaimed. Thanks Bill for your balanced response.
How foolish can you be?
On a purely rational basis, would you entrust your money (even $10.00) to a Christian organisation who is warning about the rapture (when all Christians will disappear) to look after your pet after the Christians are taken away? The fact that the organiser is recruiting volunteers who must be atheist or of another faith to look after your pets beggars belief. It would appear that Sharon is more concerned about the animals left than the souls of her volunteers, otherwise she would be doing herself out of her workforce.
If our God is able to take all the Christians in His time, surely he is able to look after the pets left behind, especially when His word says “not a sparrow falls to the ground without His knowledge.”
Regarding the atheists, are they not hypocrites to say there is no God on one hand, and yet to believe enough in His word warning of the rapture on the other? If they really do believe there is no God, then there will not be a rapture. If there is not going to be a rapture, then why should anyone register their pet to be cared for. If these people are double minded in their beliefs before the rapture, could you trust them to keep their word after the rapture should it happen and take them by surprise?
The only animal that I can sense here is a rat.
Yes that is a very good point – with all these nutters around, they are detracting from and denigrating the legitimate and important Christian doctrines of Christ’s Second Coming, his final judgment, and so on.
Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch
Yes quite right Richard
Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch
And here I was thinking that the Last Day included everyone on earth. Silly me!!!!
Bill, maybe you could set up a section of your website for atheists. For a minimal charge of say $50 each, when the rapture comes you could promise to “put in a good word for them”?
But more seriously, it does seem troubling that Christians can be assured about their pets being looked after by “confirmed atheists”. The fact that someone is a “confirmed atheist” is now meant to be a source of comfort for Christians?!
As you and others here have pointed out, let’s put more effort into what’s really important.
Just wait for the next instalment:
Christian sues for unlawful discrimination after being turned down for job as ‘pet-carer’ solely on religious grounds. 🙂
Thank you for your wit. I needed a good laugh.
I attend a pre-millennial pre trib church that believes our pets are left behind the rapture. Most church owners don’t own any pets, and are a bit bemused that any christian should be concerned about their pet’s fate. God is no more concerned about them then the animals that drowned in the flood of Noah. They think pets will be left behind, and would somehow be unwelcome in heaven as they would compete with God for the redreemed’s attention. Seems to me like a bit of Christo-Platonism (spirit good, matter bad). As our family owns 3 cats, and has outlived 4 more, I take comfort that the majority of theologians who write on heaven hold that our pets will be there. I don’t think God will leave any of our pets behind, so I don’t patronize any pet care service. I love my cats, and I love grumpy pet-indifferent Christians in equal measure (nearly)!