More Celebrity Wisdom

I expect that some might argue that what I said in my title is a glaring example of what is known as an oxymoron. To that I can only plead guilty as charged. That our over-paid and over-egoed celebs can actually offer us anything remotely resembling wisdom is, I realise, a really big ask.

Yet that has not prevented many of them from trying to inflict their great learning upon us mere masses. We have far too many examples of various celebs pontificating on all sorts of important social, moral and cultural issues. Even intellectual issues.

On a regular basis our enlightened ones from Hollywood, popstardom and elsewhere will graciously bestow upon the rest of us peons their golden nuggets of wit and wisdom. Without their elevated thoughts and glistening guidance we would all undoubtedly be so much worse off.


Indeed, it is not enough that they have to bore us to death with their monotonous pop songs and box-office disaster films, but they feel the need to wear us all down with their celebrity commentary. I am not alone in dreading this assault of the celebs. In fact, whole books have been written about this.

For example, back in 2009 Andrea Peyser penned a neat little volume, Celebutards (Citadel Press). In it she examined a number of celebs, all card-carrying members of the zany left. All the usual suspects were there: Sean Penn, Madonna, Susan Sarandon, Michael Moore, Barbra Streisand, Jimmy Carter, Oprah Winfrey, Martin Sheen, Jesse Jackson, Hillary Clinton and many more.

It is worth noting that Peyser is no redneck hillbilly; she is “live-and-let-live on a variety of social issues, including abortion and gay rights”. But she can spot a celubutard a mile away, and provides a valuable service here in naming and shaming these serial pests. Her book begins this way:

ce – leb – u – tard (suh – LEB – yu – tard) noun 1. A famous person with a grandiose notion of his own importance and contribution to the known universe. 2. A human being of sub-par intellect, oversized ego and colossal bank account, whose existence represents a drag on the food chain, waste of oxygen and severe annoyance. 3. An egregious moron. (Origin: from the Latin celebutardus Paris Hiltonus maximum Baldwinus).”

Thus a celebutard is a term used to describe “lazy and egotistical thinkers, stars equipped with abundant money, fame, idle hours and yes-men, who feel secure enough in their own influence and intelligence to create insane foreign or domestic policy in their spare time”.

The only problem with her book of course is that another volume is already long overdue. Plenty more showcases can be mentioned. The media continues to cough up one bizarre example after another of these folks. Indeed, I have documented many such cases myself on this site.

As to the latest instalment, consider this headline in today’s press: “Gwyneth Paltrow says humans are flawed and respects, admires people who had extra-marital affairs”. The article says this: “‘I am a great romantic – but I also think you can be a romantic and a realist,’ said Gwyneth Paltrow, who has two children Apple, seven, and Moses, five, with husband, Chris Martin, the singer/songwriter of UK band Coldplay.

“‘Life is complicated and long and I know people that I respect and admire and look up to who have had extra-marital affairs,’ said Paltrow, who spoke about the difficulty of marriage last month. ‘It’s like we’re flawed – we’re human beings and sometimes you make choices that other people are going to judge. That’s their problem but I really think that the more I live my life the more I learn not to judge people for what they do. I think we’re all trying our best but life is complicated’.”

Thank you Gwyneth for sharing with all of us these pearls of wisdom. That makes life so much easier now – or should we rather say, complicated? Imagine us foolish mortals thinking that human beings actually were able to make moral choices and not just excuse their bad behaviours as if they were nothing but animals.

It is so good to know that life is complicated. We used to foolishly think that Hitler was evil – end of story. But now with this new found Hollywood wisdom, we know that the poor guy was a complicated soul, and we have been far too harsh on the Nazis. After all, as you so rightly remind us, “we’re all flawed” and we have to “learn not to judge people for what they do”.

It is a pity the Nuremberg trials could not have been put on hold until you could have straightened them out on their mean-spirited judgmentalism and their obviously foolish notions of binding, absolute morality. Boy, what an uneducated and Philistine lot those guys were.

But now thanks to you, we can soon have universities offering Paltrow Ethics 101 and other helpful courses. There we will learn just how unhelpful it is to judge, to make moral decisions, or to exercise ethical discernment. We can be liberated in the knowledge that we are all “flawed – we’re human beings and sometimes you make choices that other people are going to judge.”

This is such a liberating concept. Next time I run a red light, I will just run that line past the judge. Surely it will get me off the hook. Next time I decide my wedding vows are far too tedious and embark upon a string of adulterous affairs, I will simply mollify my wife with the words, “Hey, we’re all flawed you know – and life is complicated!”

Next time a brain-challenged celeb makes some moronic comments about some important social and ethical issue, and someone seeks to put her out of her misery with his Smith & Wesson, we will be so relieved to know that they have no moral case to answer for. After all, life is oh so complicated, don’t you know?

Life will now be so much easier and straightforward, thanks to young Gwyneth sorting us out about all those ethical dilemmas. We now have the Ten Commandments nicely boiled down to just one: “Thou shalt not judge anyone because life is complicated and we are all flawed.”

And there we allowed all this archaic ethical teaching of the centuries to make our lives so cumbersome. Thank you Hollywoodians – you have made our lives so much more easy (even though it is because we have been informed that it is actually so complicated!).

Thanks so much Gwyn, I feel as if an enormous burden has been lifted from my shoulders, just as it must have been for you as well. I am so delighted to know that when your husband of eight years walks out on you and the kids for a new, younger model, you will be so understanding and accepting of all this.

Ah, the bliss of walking through life with the wit and wisdom of the celebs to guide us along the way. Where would we be without them?

[1169 words]

12 Replies to “More Celebrity Wisdom”

  1. I would leave an encouraging comment, but I’m flawed and life is complicated.
    Dominic Snowdon

  2. Thanks Dominic

    Yes quite right. Under her version of events, we should all just sit down and shut up, and never say anything about anything.

    Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch

  3. Interesting you should have an article about Gwyneth’s wisdom – she actually has her own blog and is giving out all kinds of ‘pearls of wisdom’ on everything.
    In a recent article she wrote about her daughter coming home from school and telling her about another child having two mothers.
    Gwyneth’s response – ‘isn’t she lucky to have two moms’.

    So now having two moms (and no dad) is ‘better’ than just having one mom (plus dad)?
    I’m sure her daughter will grow up with very balanced and healthy views with no confusion whatsoever……

    Apparently Brad and Angelina are also very vocal about their decision to hold off getting married until everyone can enjoy the same liberty – to be legally and ‘equally’ married.
    Where would we be without such a ‘principled’ bunch of ‘celebutards’?

    Imagine if any of them actually had any real courage and took a stand against abortion or the physical abuse of women under Sharia law…..
    As a personal protest against people who use their celeb status to mock Christian values, and those who have affairs and walk out of their marriages and the like – I choose to never watch their movies, TV shows or DVDs etc.
    The only problem is the list of movies and DVDS I will watch, is growing ever shorter – (can’t really be that bad of a thing actually).

    Thanks Bill,
    Annette Williams

  4. Bill, as usual, you have highlighted an important facet of modern day lack-of-ethics and shown it for what it is: the way NOT to live your life, if you are hoping for life eternal, in oour Lord, Jesus Christ.

    It is the media who promote the idiotic ‘it’s like; I’m like’ brigade, who PUBLISH their inanities, which don’t even inspire them to use a VERB – all doing words are replaced by ‘like’, ‘like’ on Facebook!

    Gwyneth, though, is a poster-girl for the ‘celebutard'” she is beautiful to look at, is an accomplished actress, and has a much-envied lifestyle, but because her art involves little introspection and much self regard, she hasn’t found the need to live an ‘examined’ life. If she wants it, she buys it; if she feels bad, she sees an analyst; if she puts on weight, she goes harder with her Personal Trainer and eats even less; if she’s looking old, she sees a Plastic Surgeon. She has ‘dabbled’ in ‘magic wand’ religions such as buddhism and kabbala can appear to be, so perhaps, she DOES feel the Hand of God on her sometimes.

    It is such a pity that real flesh and blood heroes have all but disappeared from the lives of enormous numbers of people, both famous and infamous. It would be a huge help to so many lost souls if the place where they keep their deepest longings was closer to Jesus; if a few of the apparently so richly favoured (in a worldly sense) did stand up amid all the trapping of fame and fortune and “JESUS IS LORD”!

    Kenya Lee Lowther

  5. I greatly enjoyed the cynicism in this article, because I secretly chuckle whenever I see an actor or actress strutting around in silk regalia with head held high, hair combed and gelled just so, as though they are enormously important for the contribution they have made to society. You could count on one hand the number of them who have stable marriages, and no doubt this drives them to have to justify their lifestyles with their inane comments.
    Debbie Ryan

  6. Hi Bill,

    Slightly off-topic I know, but:

    “she is “live-and-let-live on a variety of social issues, including abortion”

    I know you are quoting somebody else’s words here, but if this is supposed to mean that she is pro-abortion then it surely must win the prize for the most confused use of any expression in the history of the English language.

    Mansel Rogerson

  7. Reminds me of a send-up of Victoria Beckham. Recited to the rhyme of the Victoria Bitter beer ads of a little while back:

    “You can get it having your photo taken.
    You can get it singing a song.
    You can get it calling your best friend a cow.
    In fact I’ve got it now.
    A big bank balance needs a big Bogan to spend it.
    And the biggest Bogan of all is Vic.
    Victoria Beckham.”

    David Williams

  8. So, would that mean that we could not be held accountable if we did a proactive abortion on all these leftards? Would the said same leftards applaud this, or would they be outraged? I think they would be outraged and they would certainly judge the actions, nor would the argument that we are flawed and life is complicated be accepted in any way shape or form. Look at the mass murder in Norway, how quickly did the same, don’t judge people do exactly that, judge.

    And Bill, you’re nasty, you killed my first thought in your first sentence! Now I will have to throw a hissy fit for you evilly taking away my thoughts, but you can’t judge, cause we are all flawed and life is complicated don’t you know.

    But oxymoron is precisely why I ignore everything that comes out of a celebs mouth. But as usual another excellent article mate and I agree whole-heartedly with it!!!

    Neil Waldron

  9. Awesome Bill!! Well said! I had previously read her comments today before signing into CultureWatch. I was so delighted to read and soak-up your wisdom. While viewing a picture of her with babe in arms, I pondered, why would she want to go down this path?Perhaps she has an inkling, a fear that her own husband is heading towards adultery.Perhaps she is trying to trivialise extra-marital affairs to protect herself from future hurt. Therefore,our first and foremost prayer intention everyday should be to ask God to protect the sanctity of Marriage & all our beautiful Families!!
    Jane Byrne

  10. Thank you Annette. It has to be a really, really good film and a really good reason before anyone will entice me into a cinema these days. I refuse to spend my meagre pension on some dimwitted celebs attempt at humour or intelligent comment in a film that they get paid millions to act in. They can do without my help to screw up countless of millions of people who think they are the best thing since slice bread and to be adored.

    The last film I saw I walked out after 30 minutes. Fortunately I did not pay to see it as I had a free voucher.

    By the way, what did we have before sliced bread???

    Roger Marks

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