There are all sorts of reasons why Christians ignore, overlook, or disobey clear New Testament commands and imperatives. I want to look at just one such command here. In James 5:16 we find these words: “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed” (KJV). Some other versions say, “confess your sins”.
Why do evangelical Christians at least seem to do this so little? A few quick reasons: One, some push a false gospel of positivity, claiming we should never say anything negative, but just name and proclaim victory and overcoming. Two, often in our larger churches this is just not possible.
Yes, these megachurches will say this can be done in small groups, but it seems most folks are not part of these smaller groups. Even if one is in an accountability group, the thought of sharing your faults and sins and addictions and struggles can be quite daunting. Others might judge you, or you might be the only one who seems to be struggling with these issues.
Yes, Roman Catholics have confession (the Sacrament of Penance), and there can be a place for that. Of course as a Protestant I believe we can confess our faults to any believer that we trust and are comfortable being vulnerable with. A priest is not needed. They cannot fully forgive your sins or absolve you of your sins of course – only Jesus can do that. But the idea of sharing our weaknesses and sins with others is quite biblical.
I could do an entire article on exploring this much further. But for the rest of this piece I want to share six quotes from four people. My first and longest quote comes from Tucker Carlson, the American journalist, commentator and Episcopalian. On June 3 of this year he did a quite long (three and a quarter hour) interview for the Shawn Ryan Show.
The whole thing is quite fascinating, but it is a 6-minute section that I want to highlight here. In it he talks about his alcoholism and how he is now sober. And what he said at the end really seems quite significant. This short segment with Carlson can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TaPrRoRAfs
If you have access to the full interview, it comes here: 01:03:22 to 01:09:11. This is what he said:
TC: I was addicted to alcohol. Holy smokes. How did I not know that? And then. So I never drank again. And unlike most people who quit or many people who quit, I’ve never wanted to drink again. You know, I just never. Once I got past, like, the first six months, I just felt so much better. I was so grateful. I’m so grateful. I’ve enjoyed being sober a lot, and that’s a huge blessing. That’s not for me. It’s not like I have especially strong character. I don’t. If you put a tray of fig newtons right here, you would see how weak I really am. It’s just on this one thing, the booze and drugs, it’s like, I don’t want that at all. And so I never went to AA. I didn’t go to AA. I’ve been to one AA meeting in my life, and it was three weeks ago. And it was because Russell Brand, who I really love, was at my house. And he goes to AA all the time. And I said, why do you go to AA? And he’s like, I just love the people. And people are so honest. And I thought. I said to him, I thought you went to AA to keep yourself from drinking again.
Like, you’re right on the edge, which I’m not at all. Like, you couldn’t force feed me alcohol. I just don’t want it. And he’s like, no, no, no. For the beauty of being around truth and people who are just totally unafraid to say who they really are. And there’s something wonderful about that. That’s, like, the best thing there is. That’s liberation. That’s actual liberation. And I was like, I gotta go to AA. So I went to an AA meeting, and I loved it. And I’m going back. I just. I’m in traveling and all this stuff. But I ran into a buddy of mine, literally on the road, trucks parked next to each other, and he’s like, going to AA’s. And I was like, well, I’m gonna. I’m gonna, you know, text me. I had to travel, but I was like, when I’m back next week, just text me when you go. I wanna go. You know, whatever. It’s not that interesting, but that’s my experience of it. I was delivered from that. And I don’t know why, but I’m just so, so grateful. And my brother, too. My brother was an actual drinker. Like, whoa.
I mean, no more than I was, but he’s, like, way more boisterous and swedish than I am. And he’s a punch you out guy and a wonderful person. But he woke up one morning, he’s like, I’m never drinking again. And he never did. Almost 20 years ago. So it’s like, we both have been so blessed that way.
SR: You know, there’s a lot of people out there struggling with addiction and alcoholism. So do you have any. Any words of wisdom for somebody that’s looking to make the change?
TC: Well, I was dealing with this this morning. Yeah. It’s one of the great privilege. No, there’s no formula. Right. But rehab doesn’t work for most people, of course, at all. It works for some. But I was just giving someone advice about this, which I do a lot, because I really care about it. I love sobriety. I really love it. I know it’s not a sacrifice for me. It’s like the greatest thing that there is. So I’m in a good place to tell people about it because I really believe it. And I got off so easy. I really did. I got off easy. Oh, my gosh. But what I always say is quitting drinking is a huge decision. It’s a huge life change. Everything changes when you do that. A b, it can be extremely painful physically, which nobody ever talks about. They’re always like, oh, you drink to whatever. Yeah, for sure. You drink because you’re insecure, you’re afraid, you’re lying. You’re a narcissist. Drinking makes you a narcissist. It’s all about you. Right? But another reason that no one ever mentions that you drink is because you have a physical need for it. It’s physical, too.
So when you quit drinking, I always tell, I told someone this this morning, you need to be prepared for feeling very shitty and very shaky and having your sleep disrupted and feeling like you’re gonna have a panic attack at all times. And, like, that’s all real. And you should just know that going in. And the third thing I always say is that it’s so great to be sober because you don’t have to lie at all, and there’s no shame in that. I always tell my children this, and I really believe it. It’s a foundational belief for me that we’re not good at lying about ourselves and that everyone already knows who we are. So no matter what it is, whatever the secret is that you’re hiding and you think, I’m gay, but no one knows. Or I’m an alcoholic, but no one knows. Or I used to smoke secretly at my in law’s house. No one knows. Are you kidding? Everybody knows. Whatever your dumb little secret is that you think is uniquely horrible, that secret is shared by hundreds of millions of other people on this planet and has been since the beginning of time.
That is our common humanity, is our basic flaws, and that those things are already known. Everyone already knows you’re secretly gay, alcoholic, secretly. Whatever it is, you’re insecure. You know what I mean? You’ve got a big butt and you’re trying to hide it. Everyone already knows that, and a lot of them love you anyway. So once you realize that you’re free, it doesn’t mean you should stop trying to be better, or you should never stop trying to be better. But you don’t need the shame as, like, so unnecessary. There’s almost nothing you could do that would shock me personally. Having watched people really carefully for many years. There’s no variety of human sin that is shocking at all. They’re all sad, but they’re not shocking. It’s not like, well, you’re really plowing new ground there. You bagged your sister-in-law. I can’t believe it. Seen it. Seen it. You know what I mean? It’s like there’s nothing you can do that is shocking. And there are a lot of things you can do that are wrong, of course, but they’re not. You can admit everything. You can admit everything. And the people who love you will still love you. And when you know that, it’s like you are bulletproof. It’s like, what are you gonna do to me?
I especially like that last bit about being open with others and confessing our faults. When we are transparent and honest and do not try to cover everything up, that can be a very liberating thing. Sure, wisdom is needed as to when and with whom you confess your sins and share your struggles.
A small accountability group of a few believers of the same sex is perhaps the best way to go. Meeting on a regular basis and being open and vulnerable with one another can usually be so very helpful. So we evangelicals need to get back into these sorts of spiritual practices.
And in this regard, three older Christian evangelical champions can be mentioned here. They seem to share quite similar sorts of thoughts to what Carlson had said:
“Thank you sir for your criticism. If you knew about me what I know about me, you would have written a longer letter.” George Whitefield
“Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us.” Charles Spurgeon
“Brother, if any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him, for you are worse than he thinks you to be. If he charges you falsely on some point, yet be satisfied, for if he knew you better he might change the accusation, and you would be no gainer by the correction. If you have your moral portrait painted, and it is ugly, be satisfied; for it only needs a few blacker touches, and it would be still nearer the truth.” Charles Spurgeon
“When a man truly sees himself, he knows nobody can say anything about him that is too bad.” Martyn Lloyd-Jones
“Nobody can ever know the worst about you; you alone know that. So they cannot insult you – it is impossible.” Martyn Lloyd-Jones
I must add three more quotations to the unforgettable ones with which you concluded your article above:
“The Christian church is a society of sinners. It is the only society in the world membership in which is based upon the single qualification that the candidate shall be unworthy of membership.” — Charles Clayton Morrison (1874–1966), an American church minister
“The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” — Timothy Keller (1950–2023), an American Presbyterian minister and author
I first came across the following (third) quotation in the obituary you wrote on the celebrated English preacher, author and Bible teacher, David Pawson (1930–2020). You quoted from his book, Not As Bad As the Truth (2006), in which Pawson recalled an anguished time when some of his brothers-in-Christ informed him of some other Christians’ unpleasant criticisms of him. https://billmuehlenberg.com/2020/05/22/vale-david-pawson/
Pawson wrote: “After they had gone I turned to the Lord and complained bitterly about both the personal pain and the damage to my ministry. I have rarely known him to speak to me as clearly as he did then. His reply was this: ‘The worst they can say about you is not as bad as the truth.’
“I burst out laughing, both at the unexpectedness of it (the heart of most humour) and with relief that my enemies didn’t know as much as the Lord did. Later, when I told my wife, she had the same reaction. It has cured me of sensitivity to hostile criticism. I immediately thank the Lord they don’t know the whole truth.
“I ought to add what the Lord added to this surprising statement: ‘but I know the worst and I still love and use you.’ My laughter mixed with tears at that point (and my eyes fill up again as I write this), I realised what incredible grace he had shown to, in and through me. My tale is told. To God be the credit.”
Thank you, Bill, for reminding us of our need to confess our sins on a regular basis.
Thanks so much John.
I wonder if the key to confession is really who to confess to not whether to do it. We are to confess always to God (1John 1:9), and to confess to others (James 5:16). But the James passage ties confession with prayer, saying “confess your sins one to another, and pray for one another and be healed, for the prayer of a righteous man avails much (followed by the example of Elijah and prayer that halted the weather). The focus on prayer keeps confessions from being a theraputic data dump action, as if bring something to light is the healing. It does take some of the power of sin away to bring it to light, but the Lord is the one who redeems. Confessing to someone who will pray with your and for you directs confession into the light for the purposes of prayer, for only the Lord convicts of sin and heals.
Anyway, my two cents. I really enjoy your columns. I have for years. Thanks.
Sorry for being late but I would add two reason people don’t confess to other Christians: 1) Gossip. It is quite a problem in the church and sine the church is made up of members of the community church gossip makes its way out into the community. 2) Shame or shaming. Some churches believe in shame or shaming to deal with sin and that usually involves telling the whole congregation and people aren’t comfortable with EVERYONE knowing.
Another reason I have to add because of our divorce culture is divorce and or child custody. People don’t want their sins used against them in court by vengeful ex spouses.
I must add three more quotations to the unforgettable ones with which you concluded your article above:
“The Christian church is a society of sinners. It is the only society in the world membership in which is based upon the single qualification that the candidate shall be unworthy of membership.” — Charles Clayton Morrison (1874–1966), an American church minister
“The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” — Timothy Keller (1950–2023), an American Presbyterian minister and author
I first came across the following (third) quotation in the obituary you wrote on the celebrated English preacher, author and Bible teacher, David Pawson (1930–2020). You quoted from his book, Not As Bad As the Truth (2006), in which Pawson recalled an anguished time when some of his brothers-in-Christ informed him of some other Christians’ unpleasant criticisms of him. https://billmuehlenberg.com/2020/05/22/vale-david-pawson/
Pawson wrote: “After they had gone I turned to the Lord and complained bitterly about both the personal pain and the damage to my ministry. I have rarely known him to speak to me as clearly as he did then. His reply was this: ‘The worst they can say about you is not as bad as the truth.’
“I burst out laughing, both at the unexpectedness of it (the heart of most humour) and with relief that my enemies didn’t know as much as the Lord did. Later, when I told my wife, she had the same reaction. It has cured me of sensitivity to hostile criticism. I immediately thank the Lord they don’t know the whole truth.
“I ought to add what the Lord added to this surprising statement: ‘but I know the worst and I still love and use you.’ My laughter mixed with tears at that point (and my eyes fill up again as I write this), I realised what incredible grace he had shown to, in and through me. My tale is told. To God be the credit.”
Thank you, Bill, for reminding us of our need to confess our sins on a regular basis.
Thanks so much John.
I wonder if the key to confession is really who to confess to not whether to do it. We are to confess always to God (1John 1:9), and to confess to others (James 5:16). But the James passage ties confession with prayer, saying “confess your sins one to another, and pray for one another and be healed, for the prayer of a righteous man avails much (followed by the example of Elijah and prayer that halted the weather). The focus on prayer keeps confessions from being a theraputic data dump action, as if bring something to light is the healing. It does take some of the power of sin away to bring it to light, but the Lord is the one who redeems. Confessing to someone who will pray with your and for you directs confession into the light for the purposes of prayer, for only the Lord convicts of sin and heals.
Anyway, my two cents. I really enjoy your columns. I have for years. Thanks.
Many thanks Gregory.
One other thing that can be done, for Western Australian inhabitants:
https://www.parliament.wa.gov.au/Parliament/LCePetitions.nsf/($All)/C348AEFE2EDDB5EF48258AEC0010C68A?opendocument
Sorry for being late but I would add two reason people don’t confess to other Christians: 1) Gossip. It is quite a problem in the church and sine the church is made up of members of the community church gossip makes its way out into the community. 2) Shame or shaming. Some churches believe in shame or shaming to deal with sin and that usually involves telling the whole congregation and people aren’t comfortable with EVERYONE knowing.
Another reason I have to add because of our divorce culture is divorce and or child custody. People don’t want their sins used against them in court by vengeful ex spouses.
Yes true Paul.