Every day every single one of us is getting older. It can’t be avoided. And often as people age, a related problem can set in – that of loneliness. I have written before about getting old and about being alone. For example, 15 years ago I wrote “Comfort for the Broken and Afflicted”. It began as follows:
In 1975 the band America had a Top Ten hit, “Lonely People,” the first line of which being, “This is for all the lonely people”. This article is not only for the lonely people, but for all those who have known tears, who have known brokenness, who have known heartache, and have known grief.
That should cover just about everybody. Indeed, suffering is a universal condition. If you think your life has been pain-free so far, spared of any suffering, just hang around a bit longer. It will come. Indeed, as the book of Job declares, “Yet man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward” (5:7). https://billmuehlenberg.com/2010/01/16/comfort-for-the-broken-and-afflicted/
And eight years ago I wrote a piece that started this way:
OK, another milestone I guess. And I even have a very famous pop song to commemorate it with. Most of you would be familiar with “When I’m Sixty-Four.” It is of course a classic song by the Beatles, released in 1967 on their Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album.
It was a forward-looking tune back then of course. The first verse has these lyrics:
When I get older losing my hair Many years from now Will you still be sending me a valentine Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
Those are now questions I no longer have to ask – I can experience the reality of it for myself. Yes, I am certainly losing my hair. I don’t know about the valentine, but I did get both a birthday card and a bottle of wine. But consider a few hard facts here.
When the song first came out I was just 14 years old. Paul McCartney, who sang it, was 25. He is now 74, and today – as you may have guessed – I have just turned 64. So the song takes on new meaning at the moment. But what is really mind-boggling is the song appeared a full 50 years ago! https://billmuehlenberg.com/2017/01/27/im-sixty-four/
There are of course many more popular tunes dealing with these themes. Consider the old country classic “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” by Hank Williams released in 1949. Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK9AB5mDNDY
A social media friend recently posted some lyrics from another song along these lines. It was the 1966 song “Eleanor Rigby”. It was also by the Beatles, and was one of the tracks on their Revolver album. The full set of lyrics are these:
I look at all the lonely people
I look at all the lonely people
Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice
In the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face
That she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Father McKenzie writing the words
Of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working, darning his socks
In the night when there’s nobody there
What does he care?
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Eleanor Rigby died in the church
And was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt
From his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Well, along with millions of other people around the world, I am now old and alone. My wife passed away over two years ago now, and I turned 72 half a year ago. But as a Christian, I have the full comfort of God. And yes, God’s people are a big part of the answer to dealing with loneliness and old age.
Consider some biblical passages on old age:
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the LORD. (Leviticus 19:32)
Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. (Psalm 71:9)
Even to your old age I will be the same, And even to your graying years I will bear you! I have done it, and I will carry you; And I will bear you and I will deliver you. (Isaiah 46:4)
Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity. (1 Timothy 5:1-2)
And here are some helpful Bible verses on loneliness:
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. (Psalm 27:10)
Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land. (Psalm 68:5-6)
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. (John 14:18)
Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. (James 1:27)
At the moment you might be young and surrounded by family and friends. But we all will go through these leaner periods where despair and hopelessness can creep in. And we must learn to draw upon our Lord and his grace. He may not have lived a long life on earth, but he did know all about loneliness and rejection.
Back in 1890 the great Baptist preacher Charles Spurgeon gave a sermon called “Alone, yet Not Alone”. It was based on John 16: 3l-32: “Jesus answered them, Do ye now believe? Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.”
Hey Bill, thanks for this post. While I’m not old or lonely — I’m middle age with wife and kids still at home — I understand the sentiment seeing older relatives.
Hi Bill,
I strongly recommend joining U3A. A wonderful organisation for seniors with plenty of activities and a place to make new friends. They don’t welcome religious proselytism, for obvious reasons, but a great place for learning.
Happy birthday good Sir. May God bless you all the days of your life.
Yes Bill,
We were created to want and need contact with each other. And (I think), the greatest expression of that, is being in contact with God our creator.
Just recently, on a Facebook page of general interest to people in my geographical area, a lady asked, “Does anyone know where I can go and have a coffee and just sit and talk to someone?”
Hey Bill, thanks for this post. While I’m not old or lonely — I’m middle age with wife and kids still at home — I understand the sentiment seeing older relatives.
You mentioned Psalm 71. I found Aaron Shust has a wonderful melody for that psalm. You might like it: Aaron Shust – Psalm 71, Even In My Old Age
Blessings to you.
Many thanks for that Judah!
Hi Bill,
I strongly recommend joining U3A. A wonderful organisation for seniors with plenty of activities and a place to make new friends. They don’t welcome religious proselytism, for obvious reasons, but a great place for learning.
Happy birthday good Sir. May God bless you all the days of your life.
Yes Bill,
We were created to want and need contact with each other. And (I think), the greatest expression of that, is being in contact with God our creator.
Just recently, on a Facebook page of general interest to people in my geographical area, a lady asked, “Does anyone know where I can go and have a coffee and just sit and talk to someone?”
Lots of lonely people out there, Bill.
Yes quite right Phil.