Never Forget Them – Not for a Moment

Tell them you love them:

A major problem with life – especially a busy life – is you forget about the things that matter. About people that matter. About loved ones that matter. About family members that matter. And then, before you know it, you near the end of your life, and you look back – with regret and a sense of loss.

We can fail to keep close accounts with friends and loved ones, only to find things have now gone too far. This is especially the case with our families. Most parents know that in their teen years, children can go astray or have their rebellious patches. Often communication can break down during these times.

Christian and non-Christian parents alike have to deal with these turbulent times and rough periods with their offspring. I grew up in a nominally religious home, and there was not much communication between my parents and me. Certainly in my teen years there was almost none.

They would not have known about my heavy drug use – although they may well have suspected something was up. They would not have known how depressed and suicidal I was. I of course kept all this from them. They were in the dark as to what I was really going through.

Sure, my teen friends knew, but they were often as messed up as I was, so I could not get real help from them. It is amazing that I survived. Of course coming to Christ out of my wild hippy days when I was eighteen and a half is what saved the day – literally and spiritually.

Alyssa’s story

I write about this because of a post I found on the social media yesterday. It is by someone named Kristen Renee Morgan – presumably an American – and it has the date August 27 attached to it. Here it is in full:

I’ve went back and forth with myself about sharing this, not because it’s embarrassing but because it’s an emotional experience that I myself never imagined going through as a Mama, but I think it’s too important and it’s time to spread awareness.

Just four short months ago, I was cleaning my home. I wasn’t just cleaning. I was deep cleaning. My 14-year-old daughter’s room was the last room that I had on my list to clean and that was because it was the worst room in the house. I started from top to bottom, from the closet to her dressers and her nightstand. In her nightstand, sat her Bible. Now, if there is one thing that I can tell you about Alyssa Grace, it is that she loves to learn about Jesus. She studies her Bible very frequently without being told and while doing it, she takes notes and journals. All while cleaning her nightstand, I took out her Bible and I opened it. Hoping to read what she had been learning or what she had jotted, but instead, I found a letter. I opened that letter to read my baby telling me goodbye. In that letter, she wrote how much she was hurting, how she was being bullied in school, how she was fading from herself, and she didn’t wanna live any more. My heart dropped. I hit my knees, and I began to cry out loud. My heart broke into a million pieces. My baby. My kind-hearted, lovable, genuine, Athletic, overachiever, Jesus loving, beautiful baby girl was hurting, and I missed it. I never felt pain the way I felt it after I read that letter. The thought of knowing that my baby could have, would have and even thought about taking her own life was an unbearable thought.

When Alyssa finally got home that evening, we took her in our arms, and we held her as we all cried together. We asked questions. She answered. She talked, we listened and after hearing everything that she had to say, there was no doubt that our baby was dealing with Mental Health Issues. Torn apart from her daddy, being in prison, Her grandma passing away (death was new to her) My cousin killing his wife. The cops killing my cousin. Being bullied at school, and a breakup that led to him making her feel not enough. She had been going through hell and didn’t quite know how to handle everything she was feeling. As a mom, I felt like a failure only for her to remind me that it wasn’t my fault. She explained to me that she hid it very well. She explained to us that nights were the worst. Bedtime is when she felt alone. Sad. Lost in her feelings. She told us that she would put her gospel music on and cry herself to sleep.

I’m sharing this to ask you, are you paying attention? Are you checking on your babies? Are you missing the signs? Are they being bullied and nothings being done about it?

It’s not a coincidence that I found my daughter’s letter. I know it was all God. He placed me in her room on that very day at that very hour to find that letter and I’m on here today to not only spread awareness on Mental Health but to give God all the Honor and Glory. He spared my baby’s life, for holding her while she cried and for carrying her through her roughest nights.

I’m giving God all the Honor and Glory for Saving Alyssa Grace

Check on your kids! Do it today! Don’t wait!

Our story

Wow, what an amazing story, and that is excellent advice indeed. Please do it today. The trouble is, we think we will always have time to do these things. But one never knows when our time on earth will come to a sudden end. Consider my family. My late wife had always made known her love to me and our sons, but she and I were caught completely off guard when we learned in February 2022 that she had very aggressive breast cancer.

Although she survived for 18 months, it all went downhill very quickly toward the end. So she began writing letters to family members and close friends. She never did get to finish them all. I had started a journal on all this from day one, and I still add to it today. In mid-June of this year I had this entry:

Averil had written letters to each of the boys when she was getting near the end. One son had said I could read his. I finally found the folder with the letters. I read the one she wrote to him. It is two pages long – a great letter. She was always a better writer than I. And then I found one that she had started to write to me. It was only a half page long. Tears again…

As can be seen, she never did get to complete all those letters – even the one to me. The moral of my story and that of Alyssa and her parents is obvious: we must keep short accounts with our loved ones. We never know when it might be our last day that we see them.

Tell your kids – and spouse and loved ones – how much you love them. Hug them. And pray for them daily. As we read in James 4:14: “Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.”

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