The First Church of Sin

Tired of being harassed because of your sin? Tired of being rejected by churches because you will not renounce your sinful lifestyle? Looking for a place where you can be welcomed with open arms, free to continue in any carnality you choose?

Well then we have a place for you. The First Church of Sin believes we should welcome everyone and reject no one. We embrace all people and all lifestyles, so just come as you are and feel free to stay as you are. You won’t hear any negative sermons here.

If you are put off by all those intolerant words like sin, holiness, righteousness, repentance, judgment, and hell then you will just love our church – we never say those things here. All you will hear is how terrific you are. All you will hear is that you are just fine as you are, and no one should tell you any differently.

No questions asked. No conditions. No statement of beliefs. No moral policies. No membership rules. No church discipline. No excommunication. No Bibles in the pews. In fact, no pews. Just one big lovey-dovey place where we burn incense, chant eastern tunes, hug each other, and smile all the time.

Yes we are proudly the First Church of Sin. And we are so noted for our openness, our acceptance, and our tolerance, that a newspaper has just written up our story. The headline is this “Sinning faithful win church’s blessing”. The story begins this way:

“A Queenscliff church is standing up for equality with a special project designed to raise awareness of sinners’ rights…. [One member said], ‘Going to church I didn’t feel welcome because of people’s attitudes towards the sinners community, and I started self-harming because I didn’t want to live any more. I got the message that it wasn’t normal, that it wasn’t right, that I wasn’t right.’

“On leaving the church and then school at the start of Year 11, his mental health began to improve. A loving relationship has boosted his self-esteem even further. ‘I’m the happiest now I’ve ever been in my life,’ he said.”

Well there you go folks. If you are going to a church that claims you are sinful, and says you must stop sinful activity, then why waste your time there? Why let them drag you down? Why soak up all the negativity and intolerance? Come to our church. We sure won’t badger you about being a sinner.

We will welcome you with no questions asked. You can live just as you please. Then you too will experience how it is to “never be happier”. Yes, we are the church of acceptance and happiness. We just want you to be happy. That is all that matters. Why be burdened down with all this baloney about sin, repentance, the cross and other negative and unloving concepts.

Surely that can’t help your self-image. That won’t make you feel happy. So come to our place – we would love to have you. We are just one big happy church – just one big happy family. As one of our pastors has said, “We want to offer a sense of inclusion and openness to the community and to the wider church, because we know the church can have a reputation for not being that inclusive.”

So come one, come all. Leave all that guilt and shame behind. We won’t say a word about whatever lifestyle you prefer, or whatever activity you are involved in. Inclusion is the name of the game here. Tolerance, acceptance and inclusion – that is our statement of faith.


OK, by now you might have gathered that this is a bit of a spoof. But sadly it is not at all far from the truth. Indeed, the stuff above in quotation marks is actually 100 per cent true. Simply change the word sin for homosexuality, and you have the actual story.

You can read all about it in the link below. Here we have another clear case of apostasy in our midst, and another prime example of wolves in sheep’s clothing. And it all sounds so good, doesn’t it? After all, who isn’t in favour of tolerance, acceptance and inclusion?

These are the new weasel words being used by the false shepherds to lead many into a lost eternity, and to keep them trapped in a deadly and dead-end lifestyle. Shame on them. They will stand before their Lord one day and face the music.

This denomination has been going down the tubes for decades now. It has long ago snubbed its nose at the Word of God and his authority. It is now simply a law unto itself. It just makes things up as it goes along.

Oh, and no prizes for guessing which denomination this is.

[798 words]

9 Replies to “The First Church of Sin”

  1. Thank you Bill
    Gosh as I started reading this i thought to myself I bet the uniting church will be in there somewhere.
    I wonder though, In the case of the Corinthians, Paul kept them in check but these deluded lot?
    Daniel Kempton

  2. Thanks for bringing this to our attention Bill. The public response in Geelong has been overwhelmingly supportive of that particular ‘church’ judging by the feedback comments in the Geelong Advertiser. The Christians around here are disgusted and sick at heart just as Lot must have been in Sodom. I know of some who have sent comments to that newspaper before and have not had them published. Please keep informing us.
    Lindsay Smail

  3. Bill here is one lady’s response in the comms box at the bottom of this article:
    “Before I moved house I belonged to a church that accepted sinners. Homosexuals, ex murderers, adulterers, fornicators, in fact all sorts of sinners, but we did not compromise the Word of God like this church has done to be able to do this.We provided support, love and care, counsel as they worked through the issues that had led them down the path to homosexuality and brought them to freedom in Christ. We must have been doing something right. My daughter became the 800th member of the church.”
    I think modern paraphrase of Oscar Wilde is not too far removed. He said – and remember he died a Catholic – that the Catholic Church is for saints and sinners the Anglican for respectable people. I think we could substitute Uniting for Anglican but keep the respectable, as nowadays a Christianity that does not compromise is not respectable.
    Wayne Pelling

  4. Dear Bill, That Church is obviously led by “Cafeteria Christians”. They take the Biblical teachings they like and ignore the “hard sayings”, like Leviticus Chapter 18 and Romans Chapter 1. They are obviously fooling themselves.
    Regards, Franklin Wood

  5. It’s all about what I am willing to be “tolerant” of. I have to be tolerant of other brothers and sisters when they display difficult behaviour, as I have not always been loveable myself, but God is growing me a bit more each day, to be like Jesus. To one of the churches in Revelation, Jesus said “one thing I have against you is that you tolerate the woman Jezebel”. Am I to be tolerant of murderers and pedophiles? Jesus said “judge not”, but He also said “judge with righteous judgment”. We are not to be judgmental, but we MUST be able to judge rightly between what is good and what is not, to DISCRIMINATE in fact (look up the original meaning of the word in your 1970s dictionary). I call it freedom to choose.
    Ian Brearley

  6. “the vilest offender who truly believes, that moment from Jesus a pardon receives”.
    That is the gospel. Why bother with church otherwise? Yes, Bill, I wouldn’t like to be in their shoes when judgement comes.
    I love the way C.S. Lewis deals with the existence and the differences between good and evil in his introduction to “The great divorce”. If we do not heed this, evil will take good down, though the intent at present might be to “lessen the impact of evil on a person’s soul”, but really what they are doing is preventing God from cutting out of their soul what will prevent them from entering heaven.
    Gods richest blessings
    Ursula Bennett

  7. Proverb 16;25 There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

    Johannes Archer

  8. Jesus said to the woman before him found in the very act of adultery, “Go and sin no more.” Very strong words indeed, but we must really show how loving and compassionate Jesus is and that he never condemned anyone. This is why Christianity is losing its power, because it is denying the power of Christ, since he both condemned those who refused to repent and he also forgave those who did repent. We need to be more like John the Baptist saying “Repent, for the time has come.”

    Ian Nairn

  9. Why not call it the Church of Sodomology or the Church of Buggerology?
    Michael Ejercito

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