In the West today women have been reduced to sex objects and seem to exist only to titillate men. Our hyper-sexualised, pornified culture reduces women to pieces of meat on display. If the sexual revolution was meant to bring liberation, it sure did not liberate women – it simply turned them into sex slaves.
Of course I have been warning about the dangers of porn and our sleaze culture for decades now. The mainstream media of course simply mocks me, ridicules me, and seeks to present me as an out-of-touch prude; so too anyone else who dares to stand against the sleaze tsunami.
But plenty of women who themselves have been connected with the porn culture have warned about what a hell hole this is. I recently wrote about some who have had a change of heart here and are speaking out against this exploitative money-making industry: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2013/01/15/second-thoughts-on-the-sexual-revolution/
And soft-core porn is just as bad as the hard-core variety. It entraps women, treats them like playthings for men’s lusts, and snuffs out their very humanity. Some women involved in this are also coming to see how demeaning and what a dead-end it all is. Consider the sleaze magazine and parade Victoria’s Secret.
Some may think it is a bit of harmless fun, but it is not. But again, don’t take my word for it. Why not listen to what one of their former top models has to say about all this. I refer to Kylie Bisutti who walked off the sleaze catwalk two years ago.
She was a rising star, right up there with all the other parading bodies, but she came to see that this was no life for a woman – or a human being. She recently had her story told to the New York Post, and it is worth sharing portions of it here.
The article begins: “Kylie Bisutti had reached the pinnacle of her career as a Victoria’s Secret Angel. But instead of feeling proud, she felt exploited. She tells why she turned to faith after the fashion industry put her through hell. ‘But I’m married! And completely in love with my husband,’ I replied, refusing to meet.
“During the Angel competition, I was encouraged to play down my marriage to Mike, because I was supposed to be flirting with everyone all the time. A lot of models don’t talk about their relationships unless they’re married to a celebrity, like Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom, which is more of a draw to the brand. [Kerr recently decided to hang up her Angel wings.]
“After winning the competition, I signed with the top modeling agency in the world, IMG. Mike and I got an apartment in California, because that’s where a lot of the photo shoots are, but I was also flying to New York every other week for shoots there, too.
“Kylie Bisutti made a stunning debut at the 2009 Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Two years later, she refused to pose provocatively. One of the first shoots I was sent on was at a photographer’s studio in Brooklyn to help build my portfolio. They raved about his artistic work.
“Mike stood outside while the photographer convinced me to slip on a nearly-sheer bikini. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll Photoshop it if it’s too sheer,’ he assured me. I tried not to think too much about it, but a couple of weeks later, I was Googling myself and saw that the photos had been uploaded onto a porn site. It was heartbreaking for me, but even more heartbreaking for Mike. He was furious at the photographer and called our lawyer.
I'm No Angel: From Victoria's Secret Model to Role Modelby Bisutti, Kylie (Author)
“IMG said they would handle it, and they encouraged us not to take action. They sent a cease-and-desist letter to the photographer. A week after showing up on the porn site, my agency booked me with Maxim, and then FHM shortly after that. They were men’s magazines, not pornography, but they were still selling sex.
“The day after that FHM shoot, I knew my life had to change. I told my agent that I wouldn’t model lingerie anymore. So, they sent me to bathing-suit shoots. Then, I got a call to do the famous Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. But looking through the magazine, those bikinis are sometimes skimpier than lingerie. So I turned that down, too.
“Two years after I won the Angel Search, I realized I didn’t want to model anything that sold sex. At the time, a Victoria’s Secret lingerie show was airing on TV, and I was looking at Twitter and saw loads of tweets from women comparing themselves to the impossible image of the models.”
Her faith in God and her commitment to her marriage brought about the change: “I was traveling with my husband on a business trip and, from the hotel room, I sent out my own tweet. ‘I quit being a VS model to be a Proverbs 31 wife.’ (Proverbs 31 talks about being a virtuous and capable wife that a husband can trust. It says, ‘Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.’)
“I hadn’t modeled lingerie in months, but it was the first time I’d gone public with my reason. Surprisingly, my agent, who I hadn’t warned about the tweet, was supportive of my decision. The only backlash I got was from some models I know who felt judged by my decision who commented on my tweets.
“Quitting modeling has probably cost me millions of dollars. Victoria’s Secret Angels have the longest careers in the business. Even after they stop modeling lingerie, they can go on to host TV shows, like Heidi Klum, or design clothes, like Gisele. But I’ve never been more content.”
And it is not just people in the soft-core porn industry who are pulling out, but women in the hard-core scene as well. Consider this website featuring ex-pornstars who are helping others in the porn industry to break free: https://www.thepinkcross.org/
Like anyone else with a sexual addiction, there is real hope and real healing available here. Kylie and many others have radically turned their lives around. Others can too. These folks certainly need our support and prayers.
9 Replies to “Sleaze Abandoned for Marriage and Family”
We have become our own worst enemies by allowing ourselves to be desensitized to public displays and references to sexual matters which should remain private. The resulting exploitation is doing a tremendous amount of damage to our society. Let us hope and pray the exploitation can be stopped and the damage repaired.
Alan Williams, UK
I say all power to woman like Kylie who turn their lives around and reject the very notion of porn in it’s very guises. Women were created to be helpmeets and equal partners with men not sex slaves.
Any woman who loses her self respect has nothing and involvement in pornography hard or soft does that. Robs women of their self respect and all sense of dignity.
Leigh Stebbins
Yes indeed. I can barely click on to a MSM news site without some sought of sexy image coming up. Its not a good thing.
But this book looks interesting;
For decades now, young women have been taught by popular culture that casual sex is supposed to be liberating. Shows like “Sex and the City” sent the message that promiscuity was at worst no big deal and at best empowering. But stories like those on “Girls,” and those in Donna Freitas’s illuminating new book, “The End of Sex,” suggest that for many young women it proves instead to be dehumanizing. Using extensive survey research and dozens of interviews with young men and women on college campuses across the country, Ms. Freitas explodes the myth of the “harmless hookup.”
Sex has unfortunately become so cheap that it is now almost worthless.
Ian Nairn
Kylie Bisutti’s story reminds us that pushing the boundaries of our society’s last remaining ethical taboos is not the broad road to freedom some want us to think it is: This is a fact that even some thinkers from the ideological tradition which gave us the Sexual Revolution and its cultural progeny are beginning to realise. For an example, take philosopher Clive Hamilton, who gave a speech titled “Can Porn Set us Free?” to the Sydney Writers’ festival in 2003 [Online at: http://www.clivehamilton.com/opinion/can-porn-set-us-free/ ] in which he raises some serious questions about our culture’s dehumanising commodification and pornification of human sexual intimacy.
John Wigg
And yet, for all his wise critique of sexual “liberation”, even Clive shows the tension between “restrictive” morality and “freedom”. One frees a train by improving the quality and reliability of the rails and signalling, not by demolishing them.
Andrew White
Bill
A wonderful story of a woman’s courage and understanding of her humanity and the right to self respect and the respect of others.
Thanks for sharing it with us. It is an encouragement to others who feel entrapped to step free.
David Grace
Praise the Lord for Kylie.
Unfortunately in current society it does seem the ‘thoughts’ of many men rise no higher than their own stomachs & a woman’s pelvis.
Arthur Hartwig
What a courageous woman. Thanks for highlighting this for us Bill.
She was a rising star, right up there with all the other parading bodies, but she came to see that this was no life for a woman – or a human being. She recently had her story told to the New York Post, and it is worth sharing portions of it here.
We have become our own worst enemies by allowing ourselves to be desensitized to public displays and references to sexual matters which should remain private. The resulting exploitation is doing a tremendous amount of damage to our society. Let us hope and pray the exploitation can be stopped and the damage repaired.
Alan Williams, UK
I say all power to woman like Kylie who turn their lives around and reject the very notion of porn in it’s very guises. Women were created to be helpmeets and equal partners with men not sex slaves.
Any woman who loses her self respect has nothing and involvement in pornography hard or soft does that. Robs women of their self respect and all sense of dignity.
Leigh Stebbins
Yes indeed. I can barely click on to a MSM news site without some sought of sexy image coming up. Its not a good thing.
But this book looks interesting;
For decades now, young women have been taught by popular culture that casual sex is supposed to be liberating. Shows like “Sex and the City” sent the message that promiscuity was at worst no big deal and at best empowering. But stories like those on “Girls,” and those in Donna Freitas’s illuminating new book, “The End of Sex,” suggest that for many young women it proves instead to be dehumanizing. Using extensive survey research and dozens of interviews with young men and women on college campuses across the country, Ms. Freitas explodes the myth of the “harmless hookup.”
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324100904578404833142599280.html?KEYWORDS=freitas
Damien Spillane
Sex has unfortunately become so cheap that it is now almost worthless.
Ian Nairn
Kylie Bisutti’s story reminds us that pushing the boundaries of our society’s last remaining ethical taboos is not the broad road to freedom some want us to think it is: This is a fact that even some thinkers from the ideological tradition which gave us the Sexual Revolution and its cultural progeny are beginning to realise. For an example, take philosopher Clive Hamilton, who gave a speech titled “Can Porn Set us Free?” to the Sydney Writers’ festival in 2003 [Online at: http://www.clivehamilton.com/opinion/can-porn-set-us-free/ ] in which he raises some serious questions about our culture’s dehumanising commodification and pornification of human sexual intimacy.
John Wigg
And yet, for all his wise critique of sexual “liberation”, even Clive shows the tension between “restrictive” morality and “freedom”. One frees a train by improving the quality and reliability of the rails and signalling, not by demolishing them.
Andrew White
Bill
A wonderful story of a woman’s courage and understanding of her humanity and the right to self respect and the respect of others.
Thanks for sharing it with us. It is an encouragement to others who feel entrapped to step free.
David Grace
Praise the Lord for Kylie.
Unfortunately in current society it does seem the ‘thoughts’ of many men rise no higher than their own stomachs & a woman’s pelvis.
Arthur Hartwig
What a courageous woman. Thanks for highlighting this for us Bill.
Bill Heggers, Perth