CultureWatch

Bill Muehlenberg's commentary on issues of the day...

A review of Out From Under: The Impact of Homosexual Parenting. By Dawn Stefanowicz.

Oct 25, 2009

Annotation Press, 2007.

One of the primary rights a child should have is to be raised by his or her own biological mother and father. The social science research on the importance of this is overwhelming. Children raised in same-sex households are obviously deprived of this most important and basic right.

But there are a host of other problems associated with being raised in homosexual or lesbian “families”. Dawn Stefanowicz knows all about this. She was raised by her homosexual father and his many partners, and has written up her experiences in this important book.

It does not make for easy reading. Indeed, given the excesses of the homosexual lifestyle, the book at times almost borders on X-rated reading. But the truth must be told about the homosexual lifestyle, and Stefanowicz does it faithfully, warts and all.

She was born in Canada to what at first seemed to be a normal family. But for much of her life her mother was ill, bed-ridden, and far too passive in the face of her husband’s homosexuality. Thus she had to bear the brunt of his life, and experience the unpleasant realities of the many homosexual men who drifted in and out of the home.

No details are spared as the horrors of being raised in such a household are described. It makes for very sobering and sickening reading, but it is necessary reading, as the push for same-sex marriage and adoption rights continues unabated.

For example, she describes the wretched nature of her dad’s sexual flings, and how she was literally left cleaning up the mess afterwards. It was not a pretty situation by any means. She tells about the nature of sexual addiction and perversion that he was involved in, and the stream of anonymous men who moved in and out for sexual encounters.

She suffered greatly with her own relationships with other children as a result. She could not relate well to boys or girls. Her dad made sure her teen years were a living hell: “If I hung out with girls, he’d call me ‘dyke’ or ‘lesbo.’ If I hung out with boys, he called me a ‘whore.’

In order to cope, she had to live a life she was not at all happy with: “It was easier at times to act as if I were promiscuous, pretending to be at ease sexually among boys even though I wasn’t. Promiscuity seemed to be the normal thing to me.”

Then there was the violence – violence especially between her dad and his many sexual partners. Of course with multiple partners, group sex and the like, there were bound to be rivalries, jealousies, hatred and arguing. This often spilled over into violent confrontations.

Worse yet, her dad would sometimes take her along when he went out cruising for anonymous sexual encounters. She saw how he would strike up lewd conversations with strangers, and then move off to have sex with them. She would be left sitting by herself in these dens of iniquity.

Mention can also be made of the sexual abuse she had to endure as a young girl, along with that of her brother. This was a life no one should be forced to endure, but she did. But when adults become addicted to sexual promiscuity and perversions, it is often the children who pay the biggest price.

But her dad of course also paid the price for his sexual proclivities. He struggled with depression, was often quite suicidal, and took sleeping pills for many years. “He lived a tortured life. . . . Idle moments were to be avoided, as those were the times when feelings of hopelessness and emptiness would come flooding in. In a life lived as frenetically as his, reflection – leading perhaps to remorse or reform – just wasn’t a possibility.”

Then came all the physical diseases and sicknesses which are so closely attached to the homosexual lifestyle. But such conditions did not cause him to reconsider his unhealthy lifestyle – he simply got into it even further: “Dad threw himself into more and more risky sexual behaviors at an increased and even more frantic rate. As he tore his way through the gay bathhouses and racked up sexual partners beyond counting, he only seemed to become more belligerent and heedless of his impact on others.”

Indeed, such reckless and driven sexual behaviour and addiction seems par for the course. “The desperate strategy he employed to keep the grim reaper at bay had in fact put down the welcome mat, and was inviting the cowled gent into the darkest recesses of his bloodstream.”

In the end her father finally passed away from AIDS.

This nightmare experience which Stefanowicz had to go through for two decades left her reeling. She was bewildered, confused, and tormented by such an upbringing. But she has since known an incredible amount of healing and wholeness. And an amazing part of her story is how she now holds no bitterness or resentment against her father.

That she even made it through such a difficult and ugly upbringing tells us much about the author’s resilience and strength. Her life is now empowered by her Christian faith, and she has moved on, now being married with two children.

She has forgiven her father and now offers help for others who were also raised in such households. She travels extensively, sharing her moving story. It is an emotional and powerful story, and deserves a wide hearing. For those who cannot hear her speak in person, this book is just as helpful.

This is surely one of the most politically incorrect books available. It dares to tell the truth about a very sordid and disordered world, where the rights and wellbeing of children are completely overlooked, simply so that adult lusts can be gratified.

This book should be read by everyone, but especially by those politically correct politicians who are so intent on pushing the homosexual agenda onto the rest of society. If they actually took the time to read this powerful and vital story, they just might have second thoughts about what it is they are promoting.

[1017 words]

32 Responses to A review of Out From Under: The Impact of Homosexual Parenting. By Dawn Stefanowicz.

  • Thank you for your review. The more homosexual “parenting” is allowed, the more likely there will be children blowing the whistle on the arrangements when they are old enough to do so. The politicians will have to learn the truth the hard way, at a cost to the children involved.
    John Snowden

  • I heard an interview with Dawn Stefanowicz recently. It is here. She also has a website: www.dawnstefanowicz.com

    Ewan McDonald.

  • What are the chances this will get reviews and media time like all the other “I escaped my fanatical Christian upbringing” pieces that are so popular in the press?

    www.dougwils.com/index.asp?Action=Anchor&CategoryID=1&BlogID=6817

    It’s the same kind of story right?

    Michael Hutton, Ariah Park

  • This sounds like a hard hitting book. By coincidence my brother and I were discussing the issue of same sex parenting on the train over the weekend. According to him, some other passengers overheard our conversation and were offended.
    Ross McPhee

  • Thanks Michael

    Yes quite right. The only way the MSM will review this book is if they do it simply to do a hatchet job on it. Otherwise they will never touch something like this. Another indication of the complete stranglehold the homosexual activists have over the MSM.

    Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch

  • Everytime I read something about children I cry terribly. All those “Dawns” out there unprotected and being harmed. Perhaps Bill she was saved and is being used by God to show man that we are making horrible horrible mistakes with our little ones.
    Siti Khatijah

  • Thank you Dawn. It would have taken a lot of courage to write and publish this book. And thanks, Bill, for the article.
    Garth Penglase

  • Thank you, Bill, for reviewing this book and writing about Dawn’s story.

    The ‘research’ on same-sex parenting has often been done by homosexuals such as Charlotte Patterson. Any adverse consequences are often glossed over – one study by Patterson found that children of lesbian mothers have more stress symptoms than those with heterosexual mothers, but she dismissed this difference as “within a normal range.”

    Jenny Stokes

  • Has anyone brought this article to the attention of Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young?
    Dunstan Hartley

  • Dear Bill,
    There is a “review” of this book on the website kidsofqueers by someone who admits he hasn’t read it!!!!
    Seems people can be open to everything except the truth.
    Clive Skewes

  • Thanks Clive

    Yes that would be about right. Don’t even bother to read the thing – just send the attack dogs out. So very typical.

    Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch

  • Hi Bill. Thanks for the article. It does indeed make for sad and disturbing reading.

    Just two points:

    1. Michael, I completely agree with you in regards to the glut of books and pieces that have been penned by individuals leaving an apparently oppressive Christian environment. Whilst those particular portraits may well be true, it is depressing to think that such accounts merely reinforce people’s religious prejudices, and have the habit of tarring all Christian groups with the same brush.
    2. In regards to the article Bill, I would be wary of using the lady’s account to evaluate the state of all homosexual relationships. I am not at all arguing for same-sex parenting rights, but I don’t know if one person’s account can be extrapolated to include all same-sex relationships. In a way, it is like arguing that all Christian groups are oppressive and cult-like based on the experiences of a few individuals. What do you think?

    Scott Buchanan

  • Thanks Scott

    Yes, not everyone growing up in a same-sex household will experience what she went through. I did not suggest that they would. However, from what she has written, and what others have written about their experiences, this type of situation is sadly not all that uncommon. But even if it were rare, we should use such cases as strong warnings about the potential dangers of heading down this road.

    Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch

  • You use the term “parenting” as opposed to parenting, and rightfully so. What is presented by you and indeed by Dawn is not homosexual parenting, it is the story of a man who was abused as a child, found himself with a daughter and was unable to accept his role as a parent or indeed as a man.
    It is shocking that you would use this as an example of homosexual parenting or that favourite catch-cry of yours ‘homosexual lifestyle’, if anything this book is about the need for people to accept their identity and reconcile themselves within their own environments. Homosexual parenting is: two people. of the same sex. in a relationship. caring for a child.
    Surely you must have some dubiously funded American Family Institute paper up your sleeve which would better present the idea that children of same sex families are somehow worse off than those of ‘traditional families’. Have you perhaps wondered why Dawn’s father was abused as a youngster or why he failed to reconcile himself with his homosexuality? Repression perhaps?

    And to Dunstan Hartley, PLEASE I beg you, bring this book to the attention of Senator Hansen Young. If anything I think it would strengthen her resolve to improve the social conditions and inequalities faced by minority groups, and perhaps serve as a reminder to stay well away from preference deals with Family First or the Christian Democratic Party.

    Aaron Wyllie

  • Thanks Aaron

    Ah yes, fully expected from the homosexual activist camp: completely twist the story around to serve one’s own purposes. Thanks for so nicely exemplifying the homosexualist M.O.: when we have a clear case of homosexual perversion and abuse, deny that it has anything whatsoever to do with homosexuality. And this from the same camp that informs us that if a religious person is found to be guilty of sexual abuse, then this is proof-positive that religion is inherently dangerous and abusive.

    Thanks so much, I do believe I will adapt your strategy here. The next time some priest or pastor is found to have abused a child, I will just use your helpful line: ‘this is not religious abuse, it is the story of a man who was abused as a child’.

    Sorry but few people will buy these double standards, and will not be impressed by the way you seek to weasel your way out of this one. Dawn’s story remains a faithful account of the very real mess same-sex parenting so often leads to. It is the story of many people raised in the promiscuous and perverted world of homosexuality.

    But I guess we should expect this from folk like you. You even had the gall to come here recently and defend one of the most disgusting perverts around, Alfred Kinsey, and his horrific abuse of very young children. So that tells us all heaps about where you are coming from.

    And yes, the social science research is overwhelming as to how children fare best when raised by their own mother and father, and do much less well, by every indicator, in any other household, including same-sex households. This data comes from all over the world, not just from the US. Even plenty of solid Australian research data exists on all this. But it is of course so very typical of the homosexualists to simply ignore the data, and just shoot the messenger instead.

    Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch

  • True, Scott.

    But this article
    www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles8/Lee-The-Truth-About-The-Homosexual-Rights-Movement.php

    if it reflects accurately the homosexual lifestyle, would show that gay men at least ought not be raising children.

    Louise Le Mottee

  • From the early days of wanting to be accepted by society the gay lobby have become an aggresive conspiracy. They have managed to work their way into high places from whence they are pushing a relentless agenda having misled the community into believing they are harmless and as human as any member of the society. The truth is this group is aggresively pushing for society to become entirely pro-homosexual. The politicians, well they have their own agendas so where does this leave the rest of us?
    Pat Abrahams, Melbourne

  • Dear Bill, as the author of Out From Under, I appreciate your tactful resolve for the truth behind all the societal political correctness that wreaks havoc on children’s lives in households and schools today. As a witness to adult sexual proclivities and the associated health risks within the GLBT subcultures, the political, social, and sexual aspects are absolutely not safe environments for the raising of children. Many adult children, ex-spouses with young children, and other family members have contacted me, sharing horrendous, shameful experiences, the details of which are strikingly familiar to my own story. You understand that my intention was never to glorify the graphic nature of these experiences but rather to expose them for what they are so sensible people would wake up and stop the atrocities against children. It is morally reprehensible to keep such things in the dark when vulnerable, dependent children need protection.
    Dawn Stefanowicz, Canada

  • Thanks Dawn

    We are all indebted to you for your courage and willingness to speak out on this important issue. Thank you for taking a stand. Our prayers are with you.

    Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch

  • Thank you, Dawn, for your comments and your book. We appreciate your courage in speaking out and being prepared to listen to and support those affected.
    God bless
    Jenny Stokes

  • Thank you, Louise, for that link. That is a superb essay. A single autobiographical anecdote like that won’t clinch the argument against homosexuality and its activists but it has many interesting details that teach us what to look for in terms of significant negative trends in the lives of male homosexuals.

    I was amused by the bit about the open-minded liberal woman who took in two homosexual tenants. What did she expect, considering the significant behavioural trends of male homosexuals? My experience of social liberals is that they are typically ignorant and rather closed-minded. They fail to seek out the evidence that would put their liberal views to the test. For them the self-congratulory badge of tolerance is more important than truth. There is no point to tolerance without objectivity.

    I think the acceptance that homosexual activists think they have won is partly illusory. If you look at homosexuality in terms of the sexual behaviours that define it, for example “cottaging”, there is no way thoughtful heterosexuals will endorse it. They might put up a politically correct veneer, of course, but underneath there are reservations. “Acceptance” of homosexuality is a sort of secular make-believe.

    John Snowden

  • Aaron, in most situations of child abuse, as depicted here, any politician worth his or her salt would be calling for some kind of judicial enquiry into what has transpired. It comes as something of a shock to learn that you are of the opinion that Senator Hanson-Young would only be strengthened in her resolve to ensure that the foundation of such behaviour is rewarded, through public recognition and acceptance.
    Dunstan Hartley

  • All I can add is that I certainly admire Dawn’s courage. What a brave level headed woman she is.
    Frank Bellet, Petrie Qld

  • What amazes me is that a publisher accepted Dawn’s book in the first place. It would have be almost dangerous to do (or, publishers would be too pc to accept it). No doubt now they’re being demonised as a “Right Wing” publisher. Where do people like Dawn get the courage from? Well, I can only think of one place.
    John Thomas, UK

  • Thanks John

    Yes quite right. In today’s age where PC reigns and many people are characterised by cowardice rather than guts and commitment to what is right, it would be hard to find one publisher out of a hundred willing to run with a book like this. So the publisher, along with Dawn, is to be praised for having courage and backbone – rare qualities indeed today.

    Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch

  • Dear Bill, You will have an upswing of visitors to your website from all over the world. I just sent out the newsletter News From Dawn’s Desk, including a link to this book review.

    In response to some other comments. Yes, it takes a courageous publisher, but it also takes people like yourself and many here who are making a difference.

    Children need safe environments to be raised in. Please see Dawn’s webcam at www.protectmarriagewa.com for a six minute video re the impact on children (right side of page). With same-sex “marriage” being considered in Australia, it is vital to consider what are the best and most appropriate home and school environments for kids.

    Dawn Stefanowicz, Canada

  • I read Dawn’s book about a year ago. It accurately describes the lifestyle growing up in a gay home. This book is a must read for all associated with this lifestyle.

    For me personally, our marriage has had many difficulties to overcome because of his upbringing. The first year of our marriage was extremely frustrating for me. I spent much of my time with my mouth dropped open in awe at some of his odd behaviors and thought processes.

    For many years, my husband has struggled with OCD, which I feel is directly related to the sexual abuse my husband has repressed for his entire life. There is no question in either of our minds that his father had abused him in his early years.

    Please always remember this: If a gay man grew up in a traditional home with a mother and a father, he should have been to receive from the feminine mother as well as the father. If a straight man grew up in a gay home with two fathers, he never received the feminine motherly love. I am speaking about emotional traits, rather than superficial ones. The lack of, or substitution of, creates confusion at a young age. These very important emotions are not able to be duplicated with ten thousand men. And the outcome is that if follows the child his entire life, through every single relationship he encounters.

    At the end of the day: Is it ok for a gay couple to live comfortable for themselves, but expect a child to live with them in this environment and become a complete functioning adult? How does a child know the differences between a gay and straight relationship? Is this fair?

    My husband can survive in an environment of gay folks, not because he is gay, but because he is not comfortable in the straight one. How is this fair to him, his children, and myself?

    Wife of Survivor

  • Thanks for that

    To protect your privacy and because what you have to say is important I have allowed you to appear anonymously here.

    Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch

  • Although Dawns childhood sounds absolutely abhorrent, I have to play devils advocate and point out that there are negligent and abusive parents at every end of the spectrum.

    Is it fair to take one persons harrowing story and apply that to every homosexual couple? There is a story in todays news about a heterosexual father deliberately drowning his daughter to discover her near death experiences, in the belief she’ll come back with visions of Heaven – but it’s hardly logical to use this to attack Christian parents!

    Dawn, best of luck to you and I hope you’re somehow managing to live your life to the fullest.

    Chris Broadway

  • Thanks Chris. But you are mixing apples and oranges here. Every child has a fundamental right to be raised by his or her biological parents. The fact that there are some dysfunctional heterosexual two-parent families does not alter this truth in the least. Indeed, exceptions do not make the rule.

    By definition a homosexual couple from day one is depriving a child of his fundamental rights. Fifty years of social science research involving many thousands of international studies have shown without a shadow of a doubt that the very best thing we can do for children is ensure they are raised by their own parents, preferably married. By every social indicator children do better in such a family structure than in any other. I offer a brief overview of the mountain of data on this here for example: www.billmuehlenberg.com/2010/10/18/why-children-need-a-mother-and-a-father/

    It is one thing if a child finds himself in a family where one parent has been lost through desertion or death. Then we need to help that remaining single parent all we can. It is an altogether different matter to deliberately bring a child into the world and deliberately rob him of having his own biological mother and father. That is simply a form of child neglect, if not child abuse.

    Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch

  • Thanks for that, Bill. It sickens me to see people like Ricki-Lee Coulter campaigning for same sex marriage while seeming to ignore the white elephants in the room. She was at it again on her Facebook page so I actually posted a link to some YouTube videos that were also posted on the Australian Marriage Declaration’s Facebook page.
    Mark Taylor

  • Thank you. Good review!

Leave a Reply